How to End Holiday Weight Gain Forever

I was perusing the health and fitness magazines the other day at my local grocery store. Since it's the beginning of November, they all have at least one article telling thier readers how to avoid gaining weight in November and December. These articles never say anything new and they are more or less recycled versions of last year's article.
Typical tips include:

-Eat before you go to the party so you're full
-Eat plenty of fiber
-Stay away from the buffet table
-Choose what you'll eat before you grab a plate
-Hold a bottle of water so you're hands are occupied
-Eat mindfully and slowly

If these tips really worked, then why do they have to publish these guidelines every year? Clearly they don't work. If they did, then people would not gain an average of seven pounds in November and December. By the way, that's over 35,000 extra calories! It's hard to imagine such rapid fat gain. But consider that one cup of eggnog has 400 calories, one slice of pecan pie has 500 calories, and a little spoonful of stuffing (whole wheat or not) has 200 calories, and you can begin to see how 20,000 is achievable. But still, that's a lot of food.

In a previous post, I talked about how we need to modify Halloween. Trick-or-treating is fine, but we need to limit the amount of candy we give to kids, and the quality of the treats. I'm going to take another controversial stand and say that the holidays need to be modified as well. Let's begin with Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was originally celebrated in 1621 in Plymouth, Massachusetts. The happy and whimsical story we teach our kids isn't true, but that's beyond this article. If you want to read what really happened, refer to Charles Mann’s article.

But I want to point out the context of the first Thanksgiving. The pilgrims were starving. It was a celebration of survival, and an attempt to forge an alliance, not a celebration of a lot of food. My point is that a large feast was a sign of gratitude and friendship. Today, we aren't starving. We don't have to worry about our next meal. We're not trying to make peace or finagle our neighbors. We have more than enough food. We could have Thanksgiving every day if we wanted to. And judging by the size of many people today, perhaps they do.

Thanksgiving wasn't even celebrated as a holiday until 1863. It's not as if it's an indelible part of our culture. Should we continue to celebrate Thanksgiving? I don't think so but it's not going away any time soon. Any person with faith should give thanks every day, or at least a lot more frequently than once per year. I give thanks before a good meal, or sometimes even after a hard workout. Thank you for giving me the ability to run today, God, because I might not have my legs forever.

Here's my prescription for a better Thanksgiving:

-If you're not celebrating with family, then consider it a work day. Don't worry, Christmas is only four weeks away and Veterans Day was just a couple weeks ago. It's not as if you're deprived of holidays.

-Rake up the rest of the leaves. If there are still leaves on your yard, then don't wait longer. You'll kill your grass and everyone will think you're lazy. Don't use a leaf blower either. It shows that you don't like yard work and they're too loud.

-Play flag football. Instead of watching football, why don't you actually play football? The weather in most of the United States is perfect for explosive sports like football.

-Put up your Christmas lights. -As for dinner, don't be extravagant. Imagine that Thanksgiving is just like any other dinner. You've invited some friends to your house, and you're going to share a meal together. The focus should be on the company and the people, not the food. Instead of having a seven-course marathon, have some turkey, stuffing (I'd skip it), and some vegetables. It's really that simple. If you make less, you'll have fewer leftovers, less cleaning, fewer dishes, and less preparation time. Skip the pumpkin pie, thick gravy, and other "traditional" foods.

-Make less than you think. I've been to parties where there was less food than normal and nobody complained. I suspect it's because people are more focused on conversation than food. -Do your Christmas shopping on Amazon.com and skip the mall tomorrow. In my next post, I'll talk about a modified Christmas. Don't expect recycled tips. Expect to be offended.

Kevin