25 Ways to Make Football Better

Last Sunday it was 6:00 before I realized that football was on. I had totally forgotten. I used to be a big football fan through high school. Then I slowly drifted away. The most football I’ve watched since then is the first season of Playmakers and the movie Any Given Sunday, both negative portrayals of football.

I was thinking about why I don’t watch football anymore. I’m sick of pass interference, onsides kicks, instant replay, strict rules on being out of bounds, commercials, and the constant down time. Instead of naming this post “25 Reasons Football Sucks,” I’d rather make it positive and call it “25 Ways to Improve Football.”

Since 1970 football has been America’s pastime, despite everything George Will says about baseball. Baseball doesn’t have the allure it used to, and football is without a doubt a much bigger draw than baseball. More kids watch it, and nobody talks about baseball on Monday mornings like they do football.

I like many things about America, but I don’t love everything. One is our fascination and obsession with a truly stupid sport. It doesn’t have to be stupid. The sport could implement my rules and make it a great national pastime. But until profits and popularity decline, it won’t happen. It boggles me how we could enjoy a sport like this, which is really a corrupt and slow version of another great sport, rugby.

Here are my 25 recommendations for Roger Goodell and the 32 owners of football.

Get rid of instant replay. There are enough delays and pauses in the game, so why add another one? Save instant replay for the playoffs when calls are critical. Baseball has no instant replay, and neither should football. Have faith in the refs.

Why do refs have to announce the call to the entire stadium? They should make a signal and penalize the team.

Allow false starts.

Have a staggered schedule. Start games at 1:00, 2:00, 3:00, 4:00 and 8:00 on Sundays. Have on game on Thursday, and another on Saturday.

Decrease the play clock from 40 to 30 seconds. These guys should sprint to the line of scrimmage.

Ban running plays inside the 10

Ban field goals in overtime

Allow each team to have possession in overtime

Be more liberal about being out of bounds. How many games have been delayed because refs can’t determine whether or not a receiver was 2/10s of an inch out of bounds? Does it matter?

Ban on-sides kicks.

Quarterbacks shouldn’t be allowed to spike the ball at the end of the game to kill the clock.

Get rid of the two-minute warning. This is another excuse for a commercial break.

Get rid of commercial breaks between the kickoff and the first play from the line of scrimmage.

Get rid of special teams. The kicking team should use its defensive unit. The receiving team should use its offensive unit.

Get rid of the extra point. A field goal is a field goal.

Allow pass interference. Can anyone actually define pass interference? Isn’t part of the game blocking the pass?

Make two preseason games regular season games.

Get rid of bye weeks. Our troops abroad don’t get a bye week, neither should pampered football players.

Allowing holding, interference, and any other “penalty” that requires physical contact.

Ban players above 300 pounds.

Get rid of salary caps. Most of the revenue in football comes from television. There are no “big markets” and “small markets.” As long as each stadium is filled to capacity, there’s no difference between Cincinnati and Chicago.

Combine the position of fullback and running back

Change the season from September-January to March –July. The Super Bowl could be anywhere

Increase the length of each quarter to 20:00 and don’t stop the clock except for an occasional commercial break.

Allow quarterbacks to pass beyond the line of scrimmage. The quarterback rarely runs past this line anyway so why not let him pass?

If you think about it, soccer and rugby are far more logical games. It’s not a matter of running down the clock. Possession constantly changes. There are no penalties. There are no stoppages in play. When play goes out of bounds, the game quickly resumes. The goal in soccer is to put the ball into the net. The goal of rugby is to run past the end zone. Both those sports can easily be played by non-professionals. Both require far less equipment. Rugby is physically brutal, but soccer is not.

Football (which should be called passball) should do everything to emulate those two sports, which are far more popular on a global scale than football. People around the world watch the Super Bowl, but not regular season games.

There’s my prescription for a better form of football. Football’s popularity is due more to the successful marketing of the NFL than the nature of the sport, which, as you can see, is silly.

Kevin